Friday, 26 January 2018


I have found keeping my mind focused on my health and not being distracted by outside problems and influences in the early days was essential. Fighting cancer is very much an inward journey. A time to put right what has been thrown out of balance in your life, due to not paying attention.

A tip I would like to share with you, don’t forget this worked for me. If you follow my thought process it may trigger a solution for you, or something you haven’t thought of in your own journey?

When my mind would stray into negative territory, which was thinking of death, or that cancer was incurable, or the next fear or problem I needed to surmount. I had to learn to switch off the thoughts and to let my sub-conscious sort itself out to complete its work.

I did crossword puzzles, Sudoku and cryptic crosswords. It was about giving my mind a different puzzle to sort out and much needed space, instead of the present fears and worries. Cryptic crosswords were a great way for my mind to be totally absorbed. It didn’t stray and remained focused on the problem until the word I needed was found. This led to the next clue for another puzzle or word to find.

Studying code breaking books was another pastime at one point. All are quiet and peaceful challenges, from there creativity would come and a peaceful and serene emotion would be found. It brought to the conscious awareness of looking at life as a puzzle to be solved. It leads to looking at your life in a different perspective, or from a different angle to find the solutions.

Playing chess on a comptuerised chessboard, was also a good way to take the mind away from troubles. (I do declare though… I am sure my chessboard computer cheats!) No.. to be truthful... I suck at playing chess. But I have fun with the puzzle by trying to improve my game.

Completing the puzzles brings another advantage, which is learning new meanings of words I hadn’t thought of. There again a new perspective of how I viewed a specific word in my current experience in life. It was looking deeper through the layers, not merely looking skin deep, but diving deeper into the world of the word. So often we break down words into a noun, adjective, pronoun, adverb all grammar and what is determined correct, in the use of the word.

Sometimes a word would lead to a Latin or German equivalent. If you think this is useless information, then that is what it will be for you. If you find it interesting, then your attention is held, and it opens new worlds. You choose your own world and how to want to view it.

Completing puzzles brings a sense of achievement, no matter how small, when healing in your life seems to be so slow. By nature we are impatient to heal and get on with the finer things in life. Puzzles for me was a way of letting nature complete its business while I took time out and had some fun without stirring up impatient and frustrated feelings.

Some weeks I would notice a particular theme would be introduced into my life. One month it didn’t matter where I turned, or what I read,  had me always drawn towards the theme was the Swan. I read stories about swans when I drove about I saw pictures of swans. I saw an old tyre cut and shaped into a swan and painted white. It brought entertainment and fun into my life. I looked for the next surprise!

At the present time, I see and are drawn to butterflies. They inspire me; I search for them everywhere I go. They are found on beautiful notepads, in nature, in colouring books and beautiful stationery. They become an icon and a symbol on my journey and life path.

Like words they hold a much deeper meaning, so much more than the skin deep meaning. I learn to pay attention to these little treasures. Life is viewed like a puzzle, it gives us clues on where we need to pay attention. It teaches us to consider a deeper meaning.

Do what is right for you, where is your life path taking you?

Some of you have had treatments recently, I am with you. I feel for you. I hope my writing can bring you comfort in some form.

Stay strong


Friday, 19 January 2018


Hi Folks,

It has been an enormous week. I only have some creativity to share with you in my Journal.

I posted the Butterflies Dance. I hope you enjoy!

Have fun this week.


Saturday, 13 January 2018


Thank you to those who participated in the exercise last week. I was very grateful to see the Willpower being invoked in the goals you want to accomplish. I am beside you and applaud you in your quest. I will be your silent cheerleader. When the willpower lags, and your doubts arise.

Believe in can do this. One step at a time, and one tick at a time to reduce your checklist to zero. Then a new checklist can be written with your next set of goals.

To survive this health challenge you are being faced with. The outside world will sometimes seem unfeeling and cold. Your outer world will not feel your inner loneliness, and the fears you face.

Hopefully, the diagnosis from your doctor won’t be as severe as mine. I was so far gone according to them. I figured it was no point staying in the medical system. This decision saved my life.

Discovering, I could in fact survive and bring back the quality of life. I had to fight hard to preserve, and not have taken from me. It was only much later I realised it was only the doubts from the external world. Which I carried held me back for so long.

I found the loudest voices came from people who had never had to live and survive cancer. They had absolutely no idea what is required. But this is the way of the world. Build a mental bridge and get over it. Remove them from your life, if that is what it takes to find yourself and the inner peace you richly deserve.

The life choices I had to make however to survive. Were difficult at times, but resulted in giving me the inner strength forged in fire. This inner strength is like titanium.

If you have been diagnosed with cancer. You will find friends will avoid you. This is not a negative experience although it may hurt a little, to let go of relationships you cherished. It opens your world, to focus more time for yourself. To focus on the essential needs and attention your body is asking of you.

Everything in your old life, you had before being diagnosed. You will find new paths opening, and new experiences you never thought of or had time for before.

I will assume for the moment you have sorted out your diet and are following a regime with focus and discipline?

Because it can become a bit of a mind drag at times. I mean who doesn’t love yummy foods, and all those processed and packaged foods? We form addictive habits and attachments. To these comfort foods. Changing the mindset and foods you eat. Will have you thinking your throat is cut. I know I did.

Behind the clouds is ...SUNSHINE

To temper and balance your life. May I suggest to look to the creative? Some things you always wanted to do, but never found the time.

I turned to growing bonsai’s and collecting driftwood on my beach walks and arranged the pieces in my bonsai displays.

Finding seashells were another favourite. I would bring these sun bleached shells home, and display in various places in the garden.

Such simple pleasures not onerous or strenuous. These activities bring a gentleness to one's environment. An environment in which to let yourself heal. Especially any old emotional traumas, grief  or losses in life.

Be kind to yourself.

Stay strong.


Friday, 5 January 2018


What is willpower and how is it defined?

Willpower according to the Collins Dictionary is a very strong determination to do something.

I found the meaning is understated for harnessing the willpower to survive and fight cancer.

Willpower for me, became a focus which comes from within. It was not a goal to set on paper or a list to check off yet. These are physical exertions. Belonging to the outside world and the outer focus.

To harness willpower comes from within, a driving force, you invoke in yourself, and once you make your mind up. Nothing and no one will sway you from that intention. Writing from my experience beating cancer involves 80% mental focus and 20% physical action. 

The world as we know it is focused primarily on the physical. Your body, your organs, which part to cut out or cut off. So terribly wrong.

So ask yourself 

Do you really want to survive cancer?

Or are you easily swayed by doubts and fears you pick up on from others?

If you had a knee jerk reaction to my first question, and the voice inside your head yelled “YES”.

Then that is the part of the human spirit, inside yourself to tap into. If however, you hesitated, then there is much work to do. Because you are half-hearted in your attempts and easily swayed by outside influences. 


You really don’t want to survive. Somehow life has got too hard for you, and it is difficult to make choices right for your survival? 

I wonder if, by documenting this information, anyone will benefit? Whether they will share the understanding of what they wish to accomplish. If nothing else, I trust I can at least convey HOPE and show with courage and conviction. You can survive cancer. You need to put willpower into action by thinking it can happen and then follow through. Hesitancy will not get you over the line.

You can have a loved one provide care and assistance and support. But if you do not engage the spirit and willpower to carry yourself over the survival line. Then the loved one’s energy will not aid in recovery. You need to be totally honest with yourself and focus on engaging your willpower as you have never experienced it before. This is one time you cannot afford complacency.

(please participate) 

On a scale of 1 to 100. 
(100 representing 100%)

Where do you see your determination and willpower scale sitting? Be honest, the first number that pops into your head. 

If you are below the 80 mark. Sit and ponder or meditate on what is stopping you from believing you can survive, or what doubts you have and where they come from? Question every thought as it flits through your mind. Why do you believe that thought? Why do you doubt? 

This is your homework for the week. Removing the doubts and negativity in your mind. I know when I harness my internal willpower into a driving force. I experience a strong intense feeling in my solar plexus, and my mind has total focus on achieving the will to survive. 

Only then do I obtain the clarity of thought, connected to the intense emotion to set and establish my goals. Following through then to the outer world, and filling out the To Do Lists. On what I needed to accomplish in the physical world, to make it over the survival line.

It was a great comfort after struggling for so many years, to learn medical science is 40-60 years behind the times. This was scientifically confirmed by Doctor Bruce Lipton in his book “The Biology of Belief”. He has written, from a scientist’s point of view, that a person able to change their lifestyle can survive cancer. I am one of many people who now prove this to be true.

I hope there will be many more sufferers who persevere and not surrender their spirit or soul. Survivors of cancer, using the epigenetic way. Will force a massive rethink of the redundant therapies currently provided by pharmaceutical companies and doctors. 

Over the past five years, there is already a subtle shift happening with patients and forward - thinking doctors and I am satisfied that change will come. Only the greedy will remain and it will be so obvious.

This is my vision.