Saturday, 16 June 2018

DO PEOPLE KNOW THE REAL YOU?

(Inner reflection this week...!)



What a fascinating and interesting week it has been looking at the multitude of personal views and viewpoints!


No one's view point is right or wrong, it is an accumulation of life and experiences each person has faced on their journey through life. To grasp and grapple with their current belief system, on what stacks up and what viewpoint is thrown out as useless or redundant, as their experiences change through life.

I stopped to assess.. How Well Do People Know Me?

I may have a common viewpoint or an experience; similar to someone I am talking to. BUT… delving deeper do they know the real you?

They don't have to! It is a condition by a society which makes us feel acceptable or unacceptable.



We are hidden under layers of traditions, religions and customs from various countries and backgrounds. To add another layer  -family members repeatedly remind us, that we show common traits or mannerisms, like a grandparent, aunt or uncle.  These qualities or labels are handed to us every day - by other people.




I agree, many of the social norms are unifying such as a courtesy, table manners and respect. But the personal judgments about a person’s style of hair, trend in fashion, talking with arms flying around in the air. How is this judged? Is it more a reflection of the person doing the judging? Are they not accepting of themselves due to careless criticisms by others, therefore they become more critical?

At what age do we finally come to terms with whom and what we are in life? Learning to love and accept ourselves with all the imperfections and flaws other people see in us? And just let it be?

Not taking ownership of them is a whole different ball game. Learning to accept our differences or mannerisms, which are judged by someone else as pleasing, or non conforming sets us up to view ourselves and cast unfair judgments upon ourselves.

We gradually learn to understand ourselves and why we react in a particular style or way as we journey through life. Not feeling as though we have to explain why…. is also a barrier we learn to overcome. Some people mature early, and others do not grasp this truth and do not accept themselves right up till the day they die.

Right or Wrong?
Good or Bad?

These perceptions and questions I give thought to. Everyone as they travel through life uncovers many profound truths about themselves. Some are beautiful and some a just plain ugly. If you don’t like the ugly, then spend some time on yourself and change the behavior, or just accept yourself for who you are.

I have done many affirmations on behaviors or responses; I didn’t like about myself. Finally, learning to love and accept myself and stop judging myself through others eyes.

If you believe you are perfect and everyone else is flawed, this 

viewpoint is something you are also entitled to hold on to.


Perceptions in life are like looking at the glass half full or half 

empty.


Only the person holding their glass can judge it as being half empty or half full.



How full is yours?

Stay Strong!

Karen




Sunday, 10 June 2018

THE DIVINE SHELF IN MY LIFE


There came a time many years ago, after the cyclone in my life had at last started to settle, and I had moved to the maintenance diet. Also, the shutters were gradually coming off the windows, where I was hiding away from the outer world, and I felt well enough to venture outside and uptown.

In the town where I live, we have this wonderful interior decorating shop which also offers scones and pots of various flavored teas. Seeing as I love the French Provincial interior design and decorating, how could I find a place more conducive to my happiness and wellbeing than a shop like this?

The beautiful colours and the wonders of all the lovely lamps, chairs, and china worked a treat.… THEN to sit down and enjoy the ginger scones and a cup of Monk Pear Tea, especially when shared with a friend.. hence the term The Divine Shelf in My Life became a reality and not just in my minds eye.





These ventures every 3-6 months were a treat and one I looked forward to and savored. It was a haven and a beautiful one.

I hope each and everyone of you, has discovered their own divine shelf in life. A place where you can place beautiful memories and experiences of places, you like to hold on to when things get dire, or challenging.

Many treasured memories, I have gathered since then, are placed on my divine shelf of life to be remembered and savored. I bask and glow in this space. It evokes relaxation, and a feeling of goodness and positivity. A real treat for the sensations! (not to mention… giving me a break from my restricted diet)



I hope you don’t expect me to write anything more after I have just written and transported myself to this place?

Yep.. you guessed it Karen has left the building!

Stay Strong and Enjoy Life!

Karen




Saturday, 2 June 2018

WINTER & BOUNDARIES


Winter is usually the time of the year; my herb garden is weeded and restocked. Living in the tropics it is the only time I can get the plants to grow without an infestation of thrips to attack the plants. Crushed garlic is usually sprinkled around the plants. (I have found this also helps.)

So far this winter I have restocked the parsley, and for my Epsom salt bath, I have purchased an Eau De Cologne plant. Picking a few leaves to crush and hang in a bag over the bath tap to release the scent. This is so relaxing.

Eau De Cologne 


Wearing socks on my feet most of the time and keeping warm is important. It is much easier to prevent chills or colds than it is to get rid of one.

For years I cut up an onion and put beside my bed or on my desk where I am working. If I have been in an environment where someone has had a cold, or if I sense the slight tickle in the throat which often is the first warning sign.

Japanese menthol is another plant I ensure I have growing when winter comes. Placing crushed leaves in a steaming bowl to inhale the vapors is another favorite.
Japanese Menthol



You may have your own little tips and tricks you have forgotten and maybe reading my words, you will recall a remedy your grandparents have passed onto you.

A nice warm tumeric drink before going to bed is another nurturing and thoughtful task for your wellbeing, there are many recipes and combinations available. Find one that suits you.


BOUDARIES 


As well as the garden this week. I am reminded of winter with the snappy cooler weather. It reminds me of setting boundaries where some are needed with the changes in my life and also to re-evaluate boundaries I may have set earlier in regard to relationships or varying aspects to ensuring my health and wellbeing.

Resetting boundaries and what is and is not acceptable with peoples behavior toward me is another way I protect myself. Especially people who work in large companies, they become haphazard in their dealings with people in the public, and will ride rough-shod over you if you let them get away with it. Time to reset the boundaries and clearly state what boundary or treatment will not be tolerated.

The time I re-evaluate my boundaries on what I will and won't accept in my life anymore, is when another's behavior toward me evokes a feeling of worthlessness or like I am an insignificant person. I ask myself why I am feeling this way? If I am being unreasonable, then this is what I correct in myself. If however I feel they are being unreasonable, then I will state my boundaries.


Establishing Boundaries is often changing old habits.


I have listened to many people who - similar to me many years ago. Their feelings of self worth were so low, they have let people run rough-shod over them to the extent of domestic violence to bullying in the workplace.

No one deserves to feel unworthy nor insignificant. Knowing your own self worth is a good starting point. Having the courage to maintain that inner strength, comes with discipline, and being aware of your environment. Not becoming complacent and slipping into the old behavior's and habits or don’t pull people up when they are unaware or thoughtless with their actions.




These are my thoughts for this week.

Stay Strong

Karen

Friday, 25 May 2018

FULL OF SURPRISES


I don’t know about you my dear supporters and readers? But whatever I do in life, brings unexpected twists and turns.

Many years ago I learnt to pay close attention to the domino effect on actions and words, and this valuable lesson has stayed with me since.  The effect my book would have on people’s lives, has created a domino effect I never thought possible.

When I initially set out. It was with a purpose and goal to inspire those with cancer and warn of the dangers of pharmaceutical drugs used to feed the multi-billion dollar industry.


I am touching more people than this. The domino effect is touching humanity and the human soul each of us are connected with. It is bringing many people closure on why their loved ones died. It is inspiring others who did not see a purpose in their lives. For this gift I bring to others. I can only say I am grateful.


ALWAYS REMEMBER



Fear and panic is usually a bi-product from a friend or family member who doesn’t understand cancer. They transfer their fear onto the one who is doing the fighting. Thus transferring emotions, and creating more overloading on a person who is already overloaded. The cortisol levels need to remain calm and steady not hyped up into the fight and flight mode.



If any of you are in a sad place at the moment, and overwhelmed with life. Be kind to yourself, give yourself hope… tell yourself….tomorrow will be better.  Hold on to this thought until it becomes a belief.







Stay Strong

Karen


Saturday, 19 May 2018

Cruisin’ - Enjoying Life




Dearest Readers and Supporters,


Finishing and publishing has finally (phew...)  brought closure to a very ugly chapter in my life. Closure was something I had been seeking for a long time.

The question I ask myself, is more of a philosophical question. I feel as though I have become more a traveller in life than a seeker.

This conclusion is drawn from assessing my achievements, over the past twelve years. Achieving the supposed impossible.... and I have lost the incentive to prove my worth or self to anybody anymore. Like many other impossible human feats it will go unnoticed.



Whilst I will always love reading and studying, I am no longer driven with the focus and intention, that everything I was researching, was because my life depended on it.


I am more than happy with the health I maintain.


Bringing closure and understanding about the multi-billion dollar cancer industry.

My research has brought me peace at last. Although I will never experience a holiday, with the sense and meaning, I perceived many years ago. I don’t intend to let my guard down, and will trust no one with my health ever again.

As a traveller in life where will it take me? Who knows…?

I will continue being a student of life and meanings and to enjoy the many wondrous amazing beauties in nature.

For a few months each year, I come out of my recluse mode -

although it is still my preferred way of life.

I love to write in the hope it will bring inspiration to others.



I want the simple life, and maybe publish a book every so often. What more could I ask for?




If being successful means having contentment & happiness, then that is what I am.




Sending Peace, Love and Joy to everyone this week.

Stay Strong

Karen



Friday, 11 May 2018

BULLYING / PEER PRESSURE?


Inner strength is needed in both instances.

Gladioli - symbolizes Inner Strength


Peer pressure or bullying is highlighted and discussed at great lengths in our world with no outcomes, unless a large group of people stand up and say otherwise. Bullying often goes unnoticed because it affects a single person and a particular instance.

What is peer pressure and what exactly is bullying?

For me the definition of bullying - is when a person is weak or impaired, and being forced to do something against their instinct or will, or told to believe in something they don’t.
They may have different core values compared to the group doing the pressuring.


Peer pressure often comes from a group of people who agree on one course of action or behavior. Which they find acceptable, and therefore they insist that it is the norm or how everyone who crosses their path should without question.


Take, for instance, the following scenario is it peer pressure or is it bullying? 

How will you perceive or judge it?

To find the words to describe the emotional trauma I endured. The experience was similar to being held under water, by the people expecting me to die, while telling me I would die. When my only thought was to struggle and gulp fresh air to enable me to live. It felt like I had been held under water for too long, eventually realizing that ‘hope’ was something I had to give myself.

I thrashed around emotionally for a long time to find sense and balance, and the fresh air needed in my life. Then deciding to leave the medical system which was dooming me with biased and limited beliefs. I have not sought medical advice for nearly ten years now, and not claimed one product, or item, from our medical system or private health care system which has improved my health with relation to cancer.



I hope by now you will understand the level of commitment and how I celebrated - usually alone. Every little win and every little goal ticked off in my list of To Do’s. One of the hardest tasks proved to be removing an addictive steroid I had been prescribed, and combating the depression, pain and tears. It took eighteen months to remove the drug totally out of my life. When the porta-cath (a device in my chest used for injecting drugs) became blocked. Its removal was another milestone I celebrated, because it meant I was no longer forced to go anywhere near a hospital or doctor, or to endure the repeated words of ‘terminal’ and ‘incurable’.

My achievements on survival were celebrated each month I outlived their expectations. Then I celebrated the six month mark, and finally after six years, back to counting in years. It was finding the grit, on the days when my depression and emotions of grieving for my own expected death hit hardest. I knew I couldn’t seek emotional support from anyone… anywhere. If I went to an organisation for assistance, they would only refer me back to the medical system I was trying to escape from, and no one in my small trusted circle of friends had ever experienced, a life crisis similar to mine. This contributed to my isolation. I was going against the trend and tide of the people in the medical system.



How many people? I wonder have been exposed to a group of people in the medical system and have experienced the same treatment? Weak in body and mind, and rather than having the will power to fight these biased set of beliefs - given up?

I don’t object with being diagnosed and told where in your body you are sick. I question not being given a choice on what type of healing and knowledge you are given to restore your health without prescription drugs. Those tags on the scans and results which say to only be opened by a Doctor or medical professional? Why?

Bullying and peer pressure is saturated in every nook and cranny of our society and not just restricted to the playground and schools. Survival skills are needed in any environment, and any part of the world, it doesn’t always mean you need a weapon to be a threat to someone’s life. Bullying and peer pressure can also result in someone’s death.


Bullying and peer pressure comes in all sizes and forms.


Stay Strong


Karen