This week my focus is on communication. I have realised how much knowledge I have accumulated over the past 12 years, to restore my health from those dismal days in which I floated in.
It was from an acquaintance that I received a verbal slap in the face. Which had me waking up to how I had been sabotaging my life, and how unaware I had been with the decisions I had been making.
To put you into that scene… I sat at her kitchen table. I had recently been released from hospital after learning to walk again and each day was agony. With the intense cancer activity in my bones. I was a picture of living misery, and couldn’t get my head above the pain and misery in which my life was stuck in.
|Cycle of pain and misery|
She showed no friendliness, no compassion nor kindness and the message was delivered without a smile.
The message delivered was more in an accusation tone. She looked me in the eyes and stated that every decision I had made had brought me to this point in my life. My sickness and the pain I was experiencing and lived with was self inflicted. I burst into tears….. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. There is no way on this earth I wanted to feel the physical pain I was trying to cope with.
A few days later after the emotions had calmed and cooled. I replayed those words over in my mind.
I came to the realisation, and I started to agree with her. It was the beginning of my particular meditations in which I would analyze words or situations which were causing me unrest in mind and spirit.
No one had forced me to take the prescription drug which was compounding the bone pain I was already experiencing from the cancer. I had agreed to take the drug because I had been given no other options or solutions. To then cope with this pain, I had been prescribed a steroid which masked the pain to some extent, and compounded the other issues with my sore and swollen feet, and the accumulation of fluid each day. Then I was prescribed diuretics to negate the side effects from the steroid. It was a never ending cycle of pills on a Merry-Go-Round.
At the end of the day…... the buck had to stop with me. I had agreed to take these drugs. I had never questioned that the medical person had no alternative options in their knowledge bank. I was taking so much medication I rattled!.. AND none were there to let me heal. All the medications were just trying to fix a symptom from a previous medication.
My priority was to find which drugs to ditch first. One by one I eliminated all. As I have often stated it is 10 years since I have taken any prescription medication for this so called incurable cancer from medical science.
This little story and the regression back to my past, will hopefully bring you around to see the point I am making today.
I am finding I live in two different worlds and sometimes find it difficult to find words to bridge the gap and communicate well. It is similar to talking in two or three different languages. If you have worked in IT, you would relate to acronyms and the lingo for the computer world. Like CPU, RAM, AI, etc., etc.
Communicating with people is more complicated because of how their beliefs and brains are hard-wired for what they will or won’t believe. Sometimes the gentle approach will not wake people up. They need that cold bucket of water to wash over their senses. It is similar to shock therapy.
I do not want to see people experience what I have been through. However, looking back I needed the bucket of cold water because, I was so lost in the misery of the senses, and hadn’t engaged my analytical thinking and logic of how to escape the misery, I had created for myself.
This experience taught me analytical meditation and has developed into a second nature for me of seeing a situation, and being able to observe without becoming too caught up, in the emotional senses which could have me drowning again.
This week reminded me of how much knowledge and growth I have accomplished. I have concentrated my willpower into writing a book and bringing much of my knowledge learnt to share with many people. This project is also proving to be a worthwhile learning exercise.
My gut reaction is to curl up in a little ball when frustrated or disappointed with an outcome. Now I recover so much quicker, and get my head out of the emotional storm from the limitations being presented by others and find alternatives. I had an unforeseen setback which slowed me down a day.
Regardless, I have been receiving orders from people, so if you could give me some indication if you interested in ordering, by filling out the form from the link below. In the subject header if you could tell me how many books. It would be appreciated.
This week I will be placing the order for the published books, and it will make it easier to gauge the interest and the quantities of books for the order.
I hope you have all had a wonderful week.