Launch Updates

SURVIVOR GUILT

The observance of ANZAC day evokes many sentiments and memories for people immediately connected with relatives, friends and survivors of war.

This date in our calendar brings different memories to mind for me, there is no disrespect, only a time of regret and sadness that lives were lost.

I fought a very different battle and war, but being human we are scarred with the battle. A battle is fought with life at stake and surviving the physical environment in which we live in, at the time war is declared. It is all part of being an emotional-spiritual being traveling through life’s events; it affects our DNA and memories can be evoked and triggered any time.

Photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels

Healing the emotional scars is a huge positive. But it won’t stop the memories or triggers, which will transport your mind back into the past where the memories remain. These memories help a person - gain wisdom when taking time and reflecting. All memories and experiences play a large part into changing and developing your belief system and philosophy on life. How else do we grow?

Photo courtesy of rawpixel.com

Writing about one of the parts which haunted me on and off over many months especially around the 4 - 7 year survival mark was the guilt of being a survivor. I had left the medical system and was entirely responsible for what I would and wouldn’t accept in my life. Especially environmental factors, which were perceived as harmful or showed any form of threat. This amounted to physical, emotional, mental or spiritual threats of any kind.

Remember, I had become a recluse for a reason. Partly to block out any of the scare tactics or negativity surrounding peoples beliefs in surviving cancer, and what they considered would or wouldn’t work.

When learning from the news reports about Farrah Fawcett and Patrick Swayze losing their battle after the cancer diagnosis. I had started carrying Survivors Guilt and asked “Why did they die and I haven’t?” “Why are so many people dying, but I haven’t?”

Remembering those who have fallen.

I studied the underlying factors and observed, what other people were doing, and the decisions they made once diagnosed. It became very pronounced and evident the differences in their lives and mine.

At some time we all received our diagnosis of cancer, whether it is just at the early stages, or at the terminal stage. We received that message. What we do after receiving that message comes down to how badly you want to survive, and what beliefs and messages from others, you let into your life. For many bowing to peer pressure from loved ones through fear seals many peoples fates.

The only advice I can offer....is don’t make a decision based on someone else’s fear. They alone must face their fears, you have a much larger battle to fight and must do whatever is right for YOU!

The spiritual lesson I was to learn was that I had started at a level playing field with everyone else when receiving the diagnosis. Eventually, I learnt to release my guilt… where they lost the battle but I continued to win. I could not and would not feel guilty for somebody else’s decision; they had made for their life. Neither did I become complacent with this knowledge.

I saw waste and travesty of human life, this then was the spiritual learning and wisdom brought into my life about my survival. I can’t change the past, but I can influence the future.

Each day I am grateful, and I stay strong!

Karen

PRO'S & CON'S OF LABELS

Our society is good at giving and passing out labels. It creates divisions among people where divisions should really be redundant or obsolete.

Therefore I would like to create a Pro's and Con's list of some of labels I struggled with for years, all given to me by other people, and showing I took an ownership of another persons limited beliefs on what I could and couldn't accomplish. My list of labels were "DISABLED", "TERMINAL", and "INCURABLE"

The purpose of making a list of Pro’s and Con’s is a debate about for something or against a situation, in which you used to solve a problem/ dilemma, and helps a person to choose an action to change the current circumstance. A weighing or balancing of problems with solutions.

I often refer to this as brainstorming, and the result brings peace and a sense of calm, because I have thought about an action or circumstance rather than react emotionally.

Take, for instance, the pro’s and con’s on labels for the following…

PRO’S for a Label

     -  Can provide understanding, co-operation, assistance and help           for a circumstance or situation.

      

         Understanding, help, cooperation creates the following image.

CON’S of a Label

-                            - Judgment, limitations, and hinders the person who                                  received the label.

             - Fear

        

             - The person closes down because they feel judged.

      The person who received the label feels.. isolated and alone.

This week’s focus is on limitations we impose on ourselves, once we have been labelled. I like to view a label as a starting point, an evaluation set at this particular point in time. It doesn’t mean you can’t move on and change the label given to you by someone else. If you accept and own the label someone else gives you, is not empowering. Often hindering the persons growth, improvement and progress to move forward from that point in time.

In other words, I refused to be restricted by a label and someone else’s beliefs.

Okay…. so the label of DISABLED was a marker for that specific point and time in my life. This gave me a compass point and a time - a fixation on my current bearings in my life, and the direction was not pointing in the right direction. I did not want to be disabled, and I chose not to sit on my laurels and accept that things couldn't be changed.

I often wonder when I see someone with a walking stick or someone sitting a wheelchair if they have been given a label by someone else. Which they adopted and took on that belief and haven’t been able to move forward or consider and search for options, so they could be rid the walking stick or the wheelchair?

Labels can be used as a crutch or excuse not to move forward because of the fear, and the inertia which can set in. They have adjusted to whatever label has been given to them. This belief or label from the outer world, creates a stagnant pool, and the chi or energy stops flowing, for the inner world.

Take a look at the following photos and see for yourself, what energy or thought process comes to your mind. Does the image evoke a Pro or Con image of being understood?

The label brings an understanding to the outer world, but quite often isolates and alienates the person receiving the label. The result... they become trapped in their inner world with a label they don't want to be associated with.

The person may feel that doors are..

They may feel trapped with this label for life unable to change and move forward.

If the person accepts the limitations given to them by someone else. Their world may become small.

They shut down their energy and spark for life....

............instead of being carefree.

If you can manage to change your perception and how you face the label, and the connotations it brings. It opens up the energy gateway, with your thinking and actions. It lets you choose whether you are happy with the label, or with a great deal of hard work you can become..

Carefree again..

Like the beautiful change in seasons. The label given to you just becomes a turntable and a wheel to

change how you want your life to be viewed.

Swivel on your your heel and change the direction on that wheel. If you can imagine and can create an image and dream in your mind’s eye. This is the starting point of what you want to aspire to achieve.

I choose not to own other people labels of me, this took a great deal of commitment, dedication and hard work.

People only see the results of what I have managed to achieve today. They didn’t see tears of determination on the bad days, and the driving focus and commitment I gave to my task day in and day out for years.

If you are stuck with a label someone has given you, what do you need to do to change that label? Do you reject it or own it? Make choices right for you! Don't make other peoples limitations be yours.

Lastly, a very special thank you for the wonderful support I received this week with beautiful hugs, and also to many who purchased my book. I am truly grateful.

For many others,.... I send my wishes and share my willpower.

Stay Strong

Karen

All photos were sourced from pexels.com and I am grateful.

TIRED AND EXHAUSTED?

(re-edited)

If you have been fighting cancer for quite some time, you will feel as though it is never ending. The constant tests if you are in the medical system, and the constant uncertainty of your future. Not sure if you can make plans for your future? Not knowing from one day to the next whether you will have a good or bad day, can hamper your confidence in making plans. Especially if it means making appointments or times, to catch up with acquaintances or friends. You may want to show your positive side, being upbeat and being strong, and get frustrated or angry with yourself. If on a day you want to be your best, only to find on that day when you wake up. You may feel blue, tired or out of sorts. I am writing so you know I understand the frustrations and fears you face each day. 

There is nothing worse than feeling that no one else understands your emotions, or how you truly feel under the facade you may put on for the rest of the world. Let it be, don't beat yourself up. Be gentle and kind to yourself. I encourage you to give yourself permission and freedom to express yourself when you are feeling down. This teaches you to face truths within yourself instead of covering up. Once you open yourself to true emotions, it produces a kind of liberation; it brings emotions to the surface instead of burying them deep within. Some people create music to express emotions like sadness or grief, some people draw using colours to express emotions.

 At the time I created this quilt called Chaos in the Tropics. There was no sense or order to my world. I was being bumped from one emotional wall to the next, seeing no future. This produces fear.  Learning to express yourself when no words are adequate you may find calming, soothing and healing. You can express yourself without judgment or seeing yourself as others may perceive you. There is no right or wrong, good or bad. I let the emotions speak and I focus on creating.

Chaos in the Tropics

I hope by writing some of my experiences, it may encourage and comfort you if you are experiencing a difficult time.

Casting my mind back over the past 12 years. I found facing my emotions started by expressing my emotions, in colours because no words were adequate, then I created quilts with different textures. Each texture had an emotional meaning. When I had made enough quilts! (laughing..)

Then I turned to free form poetry to express emotions, and the emotional cyclone and storm settled where I could find words to express myself. You may do something similar, but not recognising or realising why you experienced the need to create. This is the intuitive healer coming to your rescue.

The vitamin which helped with my energy levels, and I still take to this day is plain ‘ol Vitamin B2 100mgs X 2 in the mornings. I always take them before lunch or noon each day or I found I didn’t sleep well that night.

I hope you may find worthy pie tips this week, sharing about energy levels and emotions.

Stay strong

Karen

BOOK LAUNCH

The time has finally arrived to launch my book!

The offical launch date is the 15th May 2018

My book can be ordered via BOOKS PUBLISHED tab

as an early release bonus!

Launch details and signing day can be found on my Facebook page.

STAY WELL & STAY STRONG.

Karen