If you have been fighting cancer for quite some time, you will feel as though it is never ending. The constant tests if you are in the medical system, and the constant uncertainty of your future. Not sure if you can make plans for your future? Not knowing from one day to the next whether you will have a good or bad day, can hamper your confidence in making plans. Especially if it means making appointments or times, to catch up with acquaintances or friends. You may want to show your positive side, being upbeat and being strong, and get frustrated or angry with yourself. If on a day you want to be your best, only to find on that day when you wake up. You may feel blue, tired or out of sorts. I am writing so you know I understand the frustrations and fears you face each day.
There is nothing worse than feeling that no one else understands your emotions, or how you truly feel under the facade you may put on for the rest of the world. Let it be, don't beat yourself up. Be gentle and kind to yourself. I encourage you to give yourself permission and freedom to express yourself when you are feeling down. This teaches you to face truths within yourself instead of covering up. Once you open yourself to true emotions, it produces a kind of liberation; it brings emotions to the surface instead of burying them deep within. Some people create music to express emotions like sadness or grief, some people draw using colours to express emotions.
At the time I created this quilt called Chaos in the Tropics. There was no sense or order to my world. I was being bumped from one emotional wall to the next, seeing no future. This produces fear. Learning to express yourself when no words are adequate you may find calming, soothing and healing. You can express yourself without judgment or seeing yourself as others may perceive you. There is no right or wrong, good or bad. I let the emotions speak and I focus on creating.
|Chaos in the Tropics|
I hope by writing some of my experiences, it may encourage and comfort you if you are experiencing a difficult time.
Casting my mind back over the past 12 years. I found facing my emotions started by expressing my emotions, in colours because no words were adequate, then I created quilts with different textures. Each texture had an emotional meaning. When I had made enough quilts! (laughing..)
Then I turned to free form poetry to express emotions, and the emotional cyclone and storm settled where I could find words to express myself. You may do something similar, but not recognising or realising why you experienced the need to create. This is the intuitive healer coming to your rescue.
The vitamin which helped with my energy levels, and I still take to this day is plain ‘ol Vitamin B2 100mgs X 2 in the mornings. I always take them before lunch or noon each day or I found I didn’t sleep well that night.
I hope you may find worthy pie tips this week, sharing about energy levels and emotions.